King of My Heart

I met a man who made my soul dance on clouds in the moonlight, and in my complete submission, ruled my very being as I “crowned him with my heart”. I cannot help but to reference two songs by Sade, “Kiss of Life” and “Your Love is King” for the way I felt (and continue to feel), and a song which I have been listening to lately by Daiyan Trisha, called “Stargazing”, in which the lyrics are so poignantly perfect.

I never expected this to happen and yet it did, and this has made me grateful to God and the universe for the opportunity to meet this gentle, beautiful soul, and I want the world to know that D will be forever in my heart and mind.

I marvel at how we even met, how our paths crossed; such was an unconventional encounter that there were instances when I was doubtful to proceed for weeks and yet there was an inner voice in me that whispered, why not? I allowed myself to open up and trust this person completely, which is very uncharacteristic for those who know me well. In doing so, he shared much of himself, more so than I did him. There was no judgment between us, only tender understanding, passion and love.

My heart was heavy when I had to say good bye to D. We were on the sidewalk outside of my home, where his friend was waiting to drive him to the airport. He enveloped me in a tight hug and lifted me up so I could bury my face into his neck, to inhale his scent for the last time, and for one last kiss. He said that he would never forget me and my heart felt like it was going to burst into a million pieces.

How could I forget the aqua of his eyes, especially when they were burning into mine, dilated with desire? He has an easy smile, which deepened a dimple with a scar on his right cheek. Skin so firm and smooth, with parts textured with scarification and tattoos of mantras and mystic symbols. D was so matured and wise for his age, and with his newfound beliefs and yoga lifestyle, his calmness and self-possession infused into my own equanimity. It is hard to believe that he was born during my last semester in college. I wonder what he saw in me, and what effect I had on him.

If only he knew the depth of the impact he had on me. I did tell him how beautiful, sexy and incredible he was, and how he made me feel – something I consciously did often while we were together. Yet there were things left unsaid, like how he made me float on clouds of happiness for days after, how he managed to impart a deep sense of peace and serenity, and completely satiated an ardor beyond compare.

I wear his gift as a pendant, a vertebra of an unknown sea creature, which he had found a series of on the beach. To be honest, I am not sure how long I would wear it for; it will always remind me of him. Thank you, God, for the gift of D in my life, however brief and intense a time it was. I wish and pray for God to continue to watch over D, and Bless him abundantly always.

King of My Heart

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